My Life Has Changed Forever

We all know there are events that change our lives forever.  There are positive events and there are negative events.  Well, for me on June 30, 2012 my life changed forever in an extremely negative way.  It was a Saturday morning and I had just sent a text to my sister asking her if she had plans for the day when just a few minutes later I get a phone call from my mom's phone.  I said "Hello" but could only hear that someone was there so I thought they didn't hear me.  I said "Hello" again and then I heard my dad's voice.  He was frantic and crying.  I said "Dad? What's going on!?"  He could barely talk and in Spanish said "I think he is dead! He isn't responding!  I think Chico is dead!"  I said "Dad!  Call 911!" My dad was just whaling.  I said "Dad, I'm gonna hang up and I'm gonna call 911!"  I hang up the phone and begin to dial 911, as I am waiting for someone to pick up I opened the door to the garage to get Todd.  I managed to call his name and that is when the dispatcher answered.  I could barely breath and could barely get out the words I need to say let alone try and remember addresses and phone numbers.  After I got off the phone Todd asked me what had happened.  I just started to freak out and I told him what my Dad had told me.  So he took me over to my parents and thank goodness Todd's two older kids were visiting us.  Our two little ones stayed home with them while we drove to my parent's house which is only minutes away.  When we got there the ambulance and police were already there.  So Todd sees the EMT and asked "Is he in there?" and the EMT could only shake his head.  We go in the house and I see an officer and I said "Is he gone!?"  I could tell the officer didn't want to be the one to tell me but he looks at me and he nods his head slightly.  I see my dad on the couch and he is just crying and my aunt was there as well and she was standing up so I went straight to her and I was just screaming "NO!!!" In Spanish I said "It can't be!" over and over again as my aunt is holding me up.

It was my brother.....my dad and aunt had found him unresponsive in his bedroom.  To describe the absolute devastation I felt is impossible.  The fact that I was 30 weeks pregnant at the time made it even harder to just want to run away screaming and have a total melt down.  During all of this chaos my mom and sister weren't home.  I had to call some family friends to come over because there was no way I could handle it all.  I had them call an elder from our congregation to come over and help out my dad.  They were over within what seemed to be seconds.  I was so glad that I called our friends because they were right there for us making sure we weren't going to just straight pass out.

One of the officers that was there had told me they had to treat it as a homicide since it was an unattended death.  They had to seal up the area and bring in an investigator so we had to wait there knowing that my brother was just in his room deceased.

Todd had to call my sister and tell her the news because he didn't want them to come home and have to see all the chaos going on outside.  He said it was the hardest thing he had to do.  It seemed like an eternity for them to come home and when they finally did I saw them out the window and our friends were out there to meet them.  I went out there and hugged my sister and my mom somehow had already gotten in the house to see my dad.  When I went back in there I hugged my mom and just cried and cried.  I really had to control myself because I was worried about going into preterm labor.

I think hours had gone by when they finally finished the investigation and came and told us that they were going to remove my brother.  We all had to leave the living room because they had to bring him upstairs.  I had a freak out and I just kept saying in Spanish "they are going to remove him" over and over and I just started crying frantically and I thought I was going to hyperventilate.  I could feel my entire body just tense up and I even felt some lower abdominal cramping.  I could hear everything the EMT's and the ME were doing so I had to cover my ears.  That also seemed to take a long time.

When they finally removed him they just go straight into having to find a mortuary and make arrangements before you even have time to take a deep breath.  I know it is something that has to be done so the ME knows who to release the body to but it is just so morbid and matter of fact.  My mom recalled that my brother had said that if he ever died he didn't want a viewing and he that he wanted to be cremated.  So we honored those requests which now I am glad that he wanted that because I don't think I could have gone through with seeing him just lying in a casket without wanting to scream at him to wake up.

I feel worse for my dad and aunt who were the ones who found him....I know they will never get that image out of their heads.

My brother Juventino Tapia Jr. also known as "Tino", "JT", "Junior" and "Chico" leaves behind two little girls, Aubrianna "Aubri" age 4 and Ghislaine age 2. He also leaves behind his parents: Juventino Sr. and Guadalupe and two sisters: Flor and myself.  Also two nieces: Elena and Alexia and one nephew who he will not get to meet and just breaks my heart a little more.

It has been extremely hard and I sometimes have those days where I just break down.  Like last Saturday night I was in my bathroom closet just crying and all morning Sunday as well.  I was thinking about how most of my best memories are with my brother and then it just hit me....I am not going to have anymore with him. 

I have his cremains here at my house until my parents can have the strength to keep them at their house.  If that ever happens...

I would just like to thank everyone who was there for us and helped us in anyway possible.  It is good to know there are people in our lives who truly care.  If it weren't for them our minds would be completely lost.

It also helps knowing that we have a hope to see him again and he will look just as handsome as ever and he will be as happy as we are to see him again and he will also get to meet my baby boy and we will cherish that moment forever.  So for now we have to try and move forward and wait for that time to come.

I love you Junior and I miss you so much!  I have too many great memories and I feel that is just makes it so much harder.  I don't think there will be a time in my life when I won't shed tears for you.  I love you and I can't wait to see you again and start those memories over again.  So for now I say: To be continued.

Tata Felix

Last week on 11/14/2010 my grandfather died....the last grandparent. He was about 103 years old. Sadly he lived in Mexico and I was unable to go. I hadn't seen him in about 5 years so the news was even harder for me. During the summer he was sick and got pneumonia and the doctors didn't think that he would be able to overcome it because of his age, but he did. He was always a very strong man, tall, thin, but muscular from working out on his ranch his whole life. Just this last year he was having days where he was living in the past, thinking he was younger and talking to my grandmother (who passed away 15 years ago).

Such a sweet old man, he loved being around his grandchildren and better yet his great grandchildren. Unfortunately he was blind (cataracts) and couldn't see his great grandchildren but he loved hearing their little voices and the sound of them running around. He didn't get to meet my girls but my aunts would tell him about pictures that I would send and what they look like, he would always have a big smile on his face when he was being told about his great grandchildren that were so far away. He would always giggle when he was told the crazy things Elena would say or do.

The day he died he was just resting and one of my aunts asked him if he wanted to eat, they told him that they had made his favorite soup. He smiled and said that he was hungry, he had only a couple of spoonfuls and spit it up a bit. One of my cousins noticed a strange sound that was coming from my grandpa's chest and told one of my aunts that he thought my grandpa wasn't feeling well. Later on he continued with that strange sound and so they called to doctor to come and check on him. The doc said that his vitals were fine but that it was hard so say what was going on since he is so old. The doctor left and not too much time had passed that my grandpa was making even more of that strange sound. My aunts had asked him if he would like them to sing and he said yes so they did and after a little while he just stopped breathing and a tear rolled down his cheek. He simply was done living...he didn't go through any pain.

I know he is resting now and is "asleep" (John 11:11-14). I also know that I will see him again in a paradise (Luke 23:43) where there will be no more death nor any pain (Rev. 21:4).

My Baby is Now Officially a Toddler!!

I cannot not believe that my little cup cake is now 1! How did this happen so fast?? I feel as if she were born just a few months ago...I remember the events of that day so well.

Alexia is such a sweet little girl, always smiling, giggling, singing and she just loves Elena. Those two are always getting into trouble together! Alexia loves to dance and it doesn't even matter what kind of music it is, she will find the beat and get to it. HA HA!

She is super smart she can understand both English and Spanish, she also tries to repeat what you say to her, she can't actually repeat it just yet but she can mimic very well. I have to say that she is a momma's girl, she only likes to be with me (which I of course love!). She is pretty shy and whenever she sees a new face she begins to cry and acts as though someone hurt her but after a little while she gets over it. She is also a trouble maker and tries to get Elena in trouble whenever possible.....little stinker! I have caught her so many times!

Right now she is crawling away and found that she likes to put herself in danger by climbing the stairs and trying to climb on the couch. I know she would just love to be walking right now but for some reason it frightens her to stand on her own. HA HA!

I love the fact that she and I share a birthday....it is just the coolest thing. The only problem is that I switch the year, so when we go to the doc and they ask for her birth date I give them the year I was born or the other way around. I don't think that I will get it together any time soon.

I love this little cupcake!!

June
May
April
March
February
January
December
November
October
September
August
July
June

Yet Another Tragedy

I would like to take the time out to remember Mauricio (Maurice) Lacayo a friend I worked with at Neways. He passed away January 19th. He leaves behind his wife and 3 children 6, 2, and a 6 month old. He was like a brother to me....I really enjoyed working with him we had fun times. Maurice was always such a smiley guy, he said hi to everyone! He was the friendliest guy you would ever meet. I lost contact with him and I tried to find him to see how he was doing but I just couldn't get a hold of him. I regret not trying harder to get in touch but at the same time I think his death would have been harder to deal with. I keep thinking about his small children and I don't know who I feel worse for....the older one who has come to terms with the fact that she lost her father or the two younger ones who will not have memories of him. It is devastating for everyone member of his family. Maurice will be missed! My heart goes out to his wife and children. I am sure they have lots of friends and family there to support them and to help them in any way possible.

Mauricio Lacayo

1979 ~ 2010

Mauricio Javier Lacayo Gomez died January 19, 2010 in American Fork from a tragic accident. He was born February 1, 1979 in Quetzaltenango, Guatemala.The son of Rosa Eugenia and Baldomero Ranferi Escobar, and the late Hector Alberto Lacayo, Mauricio was a precocious and intelligent child, always getting high grades for which he received several awards.He was an active Boy Scout, enjoyed karate, and loved to dance"often drawing a crowd that would make a circle to cheer him on.Most everyone who met him loved his personality. After graduating from Provo's Timpview High School in 1998, Mauricio certified as an EMT and worked as a volunteer with the Provo Fire Department. He volunteered with the Saratoga Springs Police Department and was soon to complete his degree at UVU to become a paramedic. He served a Spanish- and Portuguese-speaking mission for the LDS Church in Boston, Massachusetts from 1999 to 2001. Mauricio married Yolanda Meza Sanchez June 28, 2002 in the Salt Lake City Temple.They have three beautiful children: Victoria 6, Israel 2, and Caleb Josue 6 months.He was a very good son, husband, father, brother, uncle, and cousin"and the best friend you could have.Mauricio had a strong testimony of the Gospel of Jesus Christ and served faithfully in various callings as a teacher, financial clerk, executive secretary, bishopric counselor, and most recently as a counselor in his Elders Quorum"always serving his fellowmen with much love.He always made us laugh with his great sense of humor and will be greatly missed. He is survived by his wife and children, Saratoga Springs; his parents, Payson; brothers and sisters Doris (Findley) Jenkins, Idaho; Fernando Escobar, Arizona; Nancy (Jeff) Despain, Heber; Ottavio (Claudia) Lacayo, Orem; Astrid (Daniel) Garza, Arizona; Juan Pablo (Marielena) Lacayo, Springville; Mariela Lacayo, Springville; and Jacob Isaac Escobar, Payson; aunts and uncles Maria (Manuel) Climent, Lehi; and Jose Adolfo (Margarita) Garcia, South Jordan.

Mauricio, you will be greatly missed. UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN!

A viewing will be held from 10:00-11:30 before the funeral services. Funeral services will be held Tuesday, January 26 at 12:00 Noon at the Saratoga Springs 6th Ward Chapel, 267 N. Weatherby Dr. in Saratoga Springs. Interment will be at the Highland Cemetery. In lieu of flowers, please give to the Mauricio Lacayo trust fund at Wells Fargo or the Bank of American Fork. Please share condolences at www.serenicare.com

Update

It has been a while since I last posted anything, not because there isn't anything to say but because I have been doing the FaceBook thing. HA HA

We have had our tough times, from health issues to me losing my job. I was laid off December 4th. The boss I had was well....a crazy chick. She is really nice but crazy. So here I am at home taking care of my girls. The girls go to daycare two times a week because I didn't want them to get used to being home with me every day since eventually I will be going back to work and I also need to keep the spots.

I feel that thing don't just go from bad to worse but from worse to worser (if that were a word). I know there are others out there that have problems too it doesn't make me feel any better BUT I know we are not the only ones and sadly I am sure there are others who have it much worse. Thank goodness for our loving parents to help us out when we need it! They have been there for us through everything and I don't think we could ever thank them enough.

The kids are doing well except Shannon and Ellie still haven't gotten used to their Step-dad even after three years and we don't even want to go there with Christopher. The other day Ellie was saying that she wanted to live with us, Todd told her that she would miss her mom too much and her reply was "well, I can visit her every other week". Sad really.

Elena is a wild child! Not sure how to control her she has been getting better thank goodness but she has her "monster" days. Alexia is 6 1/2 months old now and I recently took her to get pics done, they are super cute! These kids are just growing too fast!

I went to visit my brother in Vernal over the holiday break with my parents and sister I had Elena and Alexia with me as well. We had a good time it was good for me to get away for a bit. Elena was able to play with her cousin Aubrianna who is just 8 months younger than she is. It was great seeing them play together! My brother is out of a job and they are struggling he is very stressed because they have a baby on the way in March. I wish they would live closer....I would really like that.

I know that people who blog usually talk about all the good stuff that is going on but once in a while you need to vent, right? You can't just let people assume things are perfect. That is being fake.

Well that was a summary. I will post more often!

Scary Stuff

On Wednesday September 2nd 2009 at about 4:30am I am up and I had just finished nursing Alexia and putting her back in her crib when I hear Todd's phone get a text message. I thought to myself who in the world would be texting at this hour. I grab his phone and see that it is a text from Christopher (which was weird because he is just down a bit away from our room) so I read the text and it says "I feel sick, like really really bad". I go to wake up Todd and show him the text so he gets up and checks on Christopher he comes back to tell me that Christopher says he has a really bad headache and feels like vomiting. Todd ends up giving him some Tylenol and goes back to bed. The next day he stays home and off to our routine of going to work.

The end of the day I am getting ready to leave work when my sister calls and tells me my dad wanted us to go over for dinner. I call Todd and tell him about it and we decide to just meet at my parents. While we are there Todd says "I don't know what Christopher is going to eat I haven't checked on him." I was a bit confused as to why he would say he hadn't checked on him, I had totally forgotten that he didn't feel well. I tell Todd that he should call and check on him. He does and when he hangs up he tells me that Christopher said that he didn't feel well at all that he just didn't feel right. I tell Todd that he should take him to the doc but by this time the after hours clinic is closed. I suggest that he take him to urgent care (at this point I am thinking Swine Flu). He calls Christopher back and asks him if he feels bad enough to go to urgent care. He says no and so we leave it at that. We are still at my parents' house but Todd had to leave for an appointment so the girls and I just stayed with my parents.

Later after Todd's appointment he calls me and says that Christopher now wants to go to urgent care. So off they go and it is about 8:30pm or so. They get to the urgent care and Christopher says that his head hurts and that his neck and back are sore. The doc there decides that he might have Menigitis but they didn't have a way to check for it so he says they need to go to the ER. I freak out about this news because of the girls so I decide to just stay at my parents longer.

They get to the ER and they start asking questions by now the doctor wants to know how much of it was just drama and begins to tell Christopher that they will proceed with a spinal tap.....suddenly his neck and back aren't as sore. They do some blood test and realize that his white blood cell count is low. Todd calls me to tell me all this and I just find it odd. Why would his white blood cells be low if he is fighting off something? I could tell by Todd's tone that it could mean very bad news. LEUKEMIA! With his cell counts so low he had to be admitted to the hospital. I didn't know what to think!

Todd got home and I gathered up the girls and headed home at about 2:00am I couldn't sleep the rest of the night! We didn't go to work but I took the girls to daycare and Todd went to the hospital early and I met him there a bit later. The doc was going to come in at around lunch time to tell us what his counts are and what might be going on. The doc comes in and says that Christopher's white blood cell count is at 1 meaning 1000 per cubic mm of blood a normal range is anywhere between 5 and 10. No one with even just a sniffle could visit.

His counts continued to drop a bit so they had to take him off the fluids because it can dilute the blood. He continues to feel pretty sick and feel very weak. The doc said they think it is some sort of virus. The last test they would do would be for Leukemia and they just kept checking his counts.

Finally his counts are going up! He get released from the hospital on Friday night. His counts are at about 3 so he still had to stay away from the public. They gave him some anti-viral medications and had to get his blood checked every other day. He was able to go back to school on Wednesday the 9th but he still needs to get his blood checked. No one is still quite sure what happened but personally I think he caught some nasty bug because he never and I mean never washes his hands! If he wants to play with the girls he MUST wash his hands and I MUST see him doing it. Something like that could be fatal for our little girls! Maybe even someone Ellie's age (6). He had been doing a lot better but sometimes he says that he doesn't feel well and he gets headaches quite often. We are happy that he didn't get any worse and that he recovery is going well.

Oops!

In my earlier post I said that Shannon was going to be in 5th grade but she is really in 6th grade now!

I also forgot to mention that Elena went to the dentist and didn't have any cavities! Totally awesome! I hope we can keep it that way for a long time.

More pics!


Elena having a "tubby". Awesome hair!
Here she is trying to blow bubbles.
Alexia and I. Not the greatest pictures of me but oh well she looks like a doll.
Elena and her spaghetti face.
so cute in Christopher's beanie thing.

Updates!

Alexia had her 2 month check up yesterday and that meant she needed some vaccinations......4 to be exact. Except one of them was something she had to drink for the Rota Virus thing. It was very sad when she got the shots. She cried quite a bit! She now weighs 11 lbs and is 23 inches long, she is sure growing! Later in the evening her little leg was so sore and she would cry when she would move her leg so we had to give her some Tylenol. Alexia "talks" all the time she has the cutest little voice. She has giggled a few times also, it is just the sweetest thing!

Elena is now officially 2 1/2 as of the 6th of August! She is doing well and I can't even believe she will be 3 soon! She loves her baby sister and loves to "talk" to her. Any time Alexia coos Elena says "she talking" and coos right back. She really loves to chat with her....

Ellie starts 1st grade on Thursday and Shannon goes into 5th grade. Christopher starts school on Wednesday and he will be a freshman. Hard to believe how fast these kids have grown!

I started work on the 10th....it sucked but it had to be done. The daycare the girls go to is great and I know they are in good hands so that makes it a whole lot easier. Elena is still trying to adjust to going everyday so in the morning she doesn't want to stay but when I go to pick them up she doesn't want to leave. I am sure she will adjust soon.

Todd is doing well and is just as great as ever! He loves his family very much and does all he can for each and everyone us.

Here are some pics for your enjoyment:

1 month

Enjoying her buzzy seat!
2 months

Alexia

The first two are when we came home from the hospital
She might be a little angry (finger)These are from last week



Alexia had her two week check up yesterday and she is doing well. She has gained an ounce more than her birth weight. When we left the hospital she had lost ten ounces so she is has gained quite a bit. She has also grown an inch longer. She wants to eat all the time! Maybe she will be as chubby as Elena was....who knows.

Another Sweet Girl

We have another sweet girl in our home! Her name is Alexia she came Saturday June 13, 2009 at 5:59pm, weighing 7 lbs 12 oz and 20 inches long. I was in labor for about 10 hours so much better than the 20 hours of labor with Elena! The experience I had with Alexia was so different. I began to cry because I didn't get that same experience with Elena, they had taken her away almost immediately after I had her because I had bled so much from my tear.

After they cleaned up Alexia a bit while on my belly and the doc was stitching me up ( I had an episiotomy) they took her away and he began to massage my stomach to help shrink the uterus. That is when he noticed that I was bleeding a lot and passing clots. My uterus was not contracting on its own very well. Once again I was bleeding profusely and this worried me very much. I didn't want to go through the same complications I had once before. I ended up getting a couple of shots to help stop the bleeding and one of them was so strong that it made me very sick to my stomach! After a while the shots helped and I was fine. They did however check my hematocrit levels to be on the safe side.

I was worried about how Elena would react to her new sister and I was worried about how she would be not having me around for a couple of nights (she has never spent a night without me). She did very well! When she came to see us at the hospital she was very excited to see her baby sister, it was very sweet! Since we have been home Elena tries to be helpful by handing me diapers when I am changing Alexia. When she cries she runs to see what is going on and asks "what happened?" with a worried look on her face.

Elena goes to day care a couple of days a week so that she can interact with other kids and so when I go back to work she won't think that being home with me every day is a permanent thing unfortunately I have to go back to work.

I will have to post pictures a bit later so check back soon!

39 Week Appointment

I had my appointment on Wednesday I am at a 2 and I got to have my membranes stripped again (yuck!). I will be getting induced on the 13th at 6:00am! (which is also my B-day) I hope that it will be shorter than the 20 hours of labor with Elena!

My co-workers got some gifts for the baby and they were just so great! They also got me a gift certificate at Royal Nails....I thought that was so awesome! They were very generous and I appreciate it very much.

So the next time I blog about something I will have pics of the baby so stay tuned.

38 Week Appointment

I had my appointment on Wednesday and well I am almost at 2....I knew it would be slow, I wasn't expecting to be at a 3 or anything. The doc stripped my membranes (so not cool!). We went ahead and scheduled to have and induction for the 12th but it all depends on how "ready" I am. I have my next appointment on the 10th so we will see what is going on and he might do that membrane thing again if I haven't progressed much. I am really hoping that he won't have to do that!

I am not totally ready yet I still need to clean the entire house and finish setting up the crib. These things are driving me crazy because I haven't been able to get to them. I have been so busy at work (staying late) and I don't get much sleep that at the end of the day I am just too tired or maybe too lazy to want to do anything but hang out with my family. I think I will for sure get everything I want done this weekend! I have to!!!

9 Months!

Last week I was officially at 9 months I wasn't able to blog about it because too many things were going on here and I just didn't get a chance. This week though I am at 37 weeks so baby is officially at full term! I had my 37 week appointment on Friday and things are well. I have gained a total of 20lbs! My blood pressure is awesome and I am measuring at 36 cm. I got "checked" as well and I am at......1. Doh! Better than not at all right?

When I went to see the doc at 36 weeks we talked about having an induction. He will only do it a week earlier than my due date and I have to be dilated at least at a 2 but preferably a 3. He was very positive about me being barely at a one and said that I would probably progress quickly so we went ahead and scheduled the induction for the 10th. I will have another appointment on the 3rd to see if I am progressing......I hope!

Here are some pics. Elena wanted to be in it too.
I look like I just woke up!

Check out these great pics of Elena! I finally got her two year old picture done. We had to keep postponing the date because the weather was never just right.

Big Girl!

Elena is becoming a big girl now! She sleeps in her own room (although she wakes up once in a while). We had a rough first few days but it didn't take as long as I thought it would for her to get used to it. When bed time comes around I say "Elena, lets go upstairs it's time for mimi" and she responds by saying "ma room?" Asking if she is going to sleep in her room. I answer yes and she starts heading up stairs. The first few nights I would leave the lamp on in her room thinking that it would help her be comfortable and feel safe but then I realized the light from the neighbors across the street came in the room and so I starting turning the lamp off after she fell asleep and she ended up sleeping even better during the night. I can say that I have definitely found a huge difference in my rest! Except for now I get up to pee all the time...

Now all we need is for her to be potty trained and then I think we will be set! She will then officially be a big girl!! Here are some pics:


She likes to wear her sun hat around the house. I think she knows how cute she looks in it!
She thought it would be great to wear Christopher's sombrero......so funny!
She was supposed to EAT the Oreo....
She is all clean and super cute!
Just the two of us...